I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
this hospital has no fireball
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
