Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize