So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
