Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
