Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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