I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
