Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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