my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
