I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
