I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I think I have vodka in my lungs
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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