I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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