Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
