i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
