wakey wakey hands off snakey
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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