Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
