I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
