Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize