Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
only if we run a train.
done.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize