HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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