They should really pass out barf bags in church
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize