Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
