the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
