your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
