I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
