A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
