So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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