Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
