just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
