So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
