We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
