Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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