A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
