Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
