TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
last night I used snow as a chaser
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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