we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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