this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
