Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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