just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
