just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
