bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
