Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Randomize
