my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
