Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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