I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
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