Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize