That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
