you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
