I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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