I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
