Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize