I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize