Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
