Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
