I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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