i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
