oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
