Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
