Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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