fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Randomize
