I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
