that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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