also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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