Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
