what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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