Three words: puerto rican gang bang
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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