you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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