Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
