I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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