Pants 0. Shit 1.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
