I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
