It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
