i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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