I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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