I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
