long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
